"I suspect it’s difficult for men to imagine a world in which their bodies have long been inextricably linked to their value as an individual, and that no matter how encouraging your parents were or how many positive female role models you had or how self-confident you feel, there is an ever-present pressure that creeps in from all sides, whispering in your ear that you are your body and your body defines you. A world where, from the time of pubescence on, you can feel the constant and palpable weight of the male gaze, and not just from your male peers but from teachers and sports coaches and the fathers of the children you baby-sit, people you’re supposed to respect and trust and look up to, and that first realization that you are being looked at in that way is the beginning of a self-consciousness that you will be unable to shake for the rest of your life.

Even if they are never verbalized, the rules of bodily conduct for females become clear early on: when school administrators reprimand you for the inch of midriff that shows when you lift your hands straight in the air or youth group leaders tell you that the sight of your unintentional cleavage is what causes godly young men to fall, you learn that your body is dangerous and shameful and that it’s your responsibility to cloister it in a way that is acceptable to everyone else. You learn that your body is a topic of public debate that everyone is entitled to weigh in on, from a male classmate telling you that those jeans make your ass look huge to the male-dominated United States Congress dictating the parameters that rape must fall within to be considered legitimate. To be a woman, and to live life in a woman’s body, is to be held to a set of comically paradoxical standards that make you constantly second-guess yourself and jump through a million hoops in pursuit of an impossible perfection."

"The 2009 British government survey mentioned above found that 43 per cent of people think a woman should be held responsible or partly responsible for being sexually assaulted or raped if she was flirting heavily with the man beforehand; 42 per cent think the same applies if she was using drugs at the time, 36 per cent if she was drunk, and 26 per cent if she was wearing sexy or revealing clothes."
The Equality Illusion, Kat Banyard (via petitefeministe)

(via slutwalkseattle)


I want to have babies

whoneedsfeminism:

I need feminism because I want to have babies but it doesn’t mean I have to earn less than men and that I have to be treated as a potential COST to the company they want to avoid. 

SlutWalk Seattle: howmanywomen: Men who I try to rebuff always tell me “Come on, you’d...

howmanywomen:

Men who I try to rebuff always tell me “Come on, you’d be offended if we didn’t come on to you!”. Men I try to vent to say “Come on, this is totally normal. Besides, it’s a compliment!”

Let me tell you something!

I am 22 and recently moved from a very upscale neighborhood…

whoneedsfeminism:

I need feminism because pretending I am stupid just to make a guy feel smart is beneath me.

"[TW: Sexual Assault, Rape] In many cases, they aren’t the violent sexual predators you’ve been taught to expect and guard against. They aren’t always sadists who enjoy it more because it hurts (though they exist, too), but, at some point, they all just stop caring how you feel because that isn’t remotely necessary for it to feel good to them. In some way, they’re reading off the age-old script: sex is something you have that they want, and your resistance is just a barrier to push past– or the lack of resistance, even if you’re incapacitated, is acquiescence.

If there’s one other lesson to be taken away from the morass of that discussion, it is that there’s no amount of warning women not to leave the metaphorical keys on the hoods of our cars that’s going to end rape. For every man who admitted to plying victims with alcohol, another simply held a woman down; for every man who professed to being so aroused by a woman that he “had” to force her, another admitted to molesting a woman who was unconscious; for every man that went after a near-stranger, another hurt someone to whom he’d been close.

The people who need to be educated about rape are our men and boys. They need to learn that sex isn’t a zero-sum game, it’s not keep-away or capture-the-flag, it’s not a thing they do with their genitals to the genitals of another person at whom they don’t look, let alone see.

"