I read several dozen stories a year from miserable, lonely guys who insist that women won’t come near them despite the fact that they are just the nicest guys in the world.

..I’m asking what do you offer? Are you smart? Funny? Interesting? Talented? Ambitious? Creative? OK, now what do you do to demonstrate those attributes to the world? Don’t say that you’re a nice guy — that’s the bare minimum.

“Well, I’m not sexist or racist or greedy or shallow or abusive! Not like those other douchebags!”

I’m sorry, I know that this is hard to hear, but if all you can do is list a bunch of faults you don’t have, then back the fuck away…

Don’t complain about how girls fall for jerks; they fall for those jerks because those jerks have other things they can offer. “But I’m a great listener!” Are you? Because you’re willing to sit quietly in exchange for the chance to be in the proximity of a pretty girl (and spend every second imagining how soft her skin must be)? Well guess what, there’s another guy in her life who also knows how to do that, and he can play the guitar. Saying that you’re a nice guy is like a restaurant whose only selling point is that the food doesn’t make you sick. You’re like a new movie whose title is This Movie Is in English, and its tagline is “The actors are clearly visible”.



Denying that women are a victimized class is simply wrong. What else would you call a segment of the population who are systematically discriminated against in school, work and politics? How would you describe a population whose bodies are objectified to the point of dehumanization? Women are harassed, attacked and sexually assaulted with alarming regularity in America and around the world, and now even more of them live in states where, if pregnant, they can be refused medical attention or arrested for refusing C-sections.

People who are on the shit end of oppression are oppressed. Accurately describing this is not a matter of politics, but of truth.

Feminism makes women ‘victims’? I think you’ve mistaken us for the sexists, my latest at the Guardian (responding to #WomenAgainstFeminism)

"It was so refreshing to read a queer fiction story that isn’t about coming out, and isn’t about the struggle for self-acceptance, but rather a character journey and love story that just so happens to involve two men."

Jillian Watkins - review on Amazon 

(via iamthelightening)

(via iamthelightening)

"Intent and impact are very different things."

"For if a strong back
and a heavy heart
have taught me anything,
it’s that love does not exist to
lighten our hearts,
love only exists to see
how much we will carry."
– pavana (via maza-dohta)

(via iamthelightening)



My dad just said: at your age you’ll probably wanna try a lot of things. Boys, girls, being a girl, being a boy, being punk or goth or spunky. And im okay with that. As long as you don’t come home and tell me youre a republican

parents who care

(via iamthelightening)

Instead of asking, “Did she say no?”, we should start asking, “Did she want to have sex?”


Part of the problem with putting the onus on victims to make the rape “official” through refusing and fighting back is the next thing that happens is we get into a quibbling match over whether or not they fought back enough to “earn” the right to have their rape considered a rape. It encourages this mentality where badgering someone until they stop saying no or simply ignoring them so that you can honestly say later you had no idea that they were refusing is somehow in-bounds. It becomes the victim’s fault for not refusing in exactly the right way, even though most rapists aren’t actually going to take any no for an answer, no matter how you phrase it.

(via webelieveyou)



Hi! I’m working on an advocacy project regarding rape culture and consent in high schools and was wondering if you could help signal boost the link that I included. Thank you so much!

Speaking out against street harassment with street art


CCTV America created this 8 min video profile of Tatyana Fazlalizadeh and Stop Telling Women to Smile for their program, Full Frame. In the video we listen to Tatyana explain STWTS while we follow her through the process, including talking with a group of women, drawing, and pasting. 


"you’re too young to know what your sexuality is" said the straight person to a queer teenager 

"he’s such a ladies’ man" said the straight person about a 6 month old baby that doesn’t know what a lady is

(via iamthelightening)


We should teach young boys to respect women, but we should also teach young girls to respect women. Women should not see each other as enemies, but as allies. Stop telling young girls that the best they can be is “not like other girls”.

(via iamthelightening)